www.elektronik.si

[aly]

honda?
suzuki?
mogoče harley davidson?

odločitev je tukaj:
http://www.afnegunca.com/download/ag-246-japonski-motorji.mpg

[Sokrat]

Ravnokar na TV, pisem po spominu:

"Se spomnite poiskusa s kovancem ? Zdaj je Cilit Bang postal tudi izdelek za vsakdanje ciscenje."

Se dobro da je vendarle prislo do tega, kovance sem namrec ze vse na pol opral (kot v reklami)

[jur]

Ali je kdo poizkusil, koliko časa je zares potrebno, da cillit očisti kovanec tako, kot v reklami? Če je cillit res tako hiter, je jasno, zakaj tip pere samo pol kovanca. Če bi vtaknil cel kovanec (in z tem tudi prste) v čistilo, bi mu jih moralo razžreti do kosti.

Jur

[drobnakstanc]

Kaj imata skupnega pes in strojevodja?
-oba jesta konzerve in urinirata po kolesih.

[drobnakstanc]

Kdaj se je utopilo največ bosancev?
Med porivanjem podmornice ko le ta ni vžgala.

[NeoTO]

Spektralni analizator:

[Mihael]

Kaj je ekstrem?
Če se poročita blondinka in policaj!

[PPG78]

Za inženirje in razvojnike

[Branez]

Microsoft Operating System Sourcecode

#include <nonsense.h>
#include <lies.h>
#include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include <process.h> /* For the court of law */

#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define soon next_year
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version

void main()
{
if (latest_windows_version>one_month_old)
{
if (there_are_still_bugs)
market(bugfix);
if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
}
while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
{
make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in
lies.h */
if (rumours_grow_wilder)
make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
{
market_time=ripe;
say("It will be ready in one month);
order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
vapourware=TRUE;
break;
}
}
switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
{
case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
break;
case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
say("Yes it will work");
ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
pretend(there_is_no_problem);
break;
case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"
" the 32 bits architecture");
inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
"'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
break;
case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
everyone");
register(journalist, big_Bill_Book);
when(time_is_ripe)
{
arrest(journalist);
brainwash(journalist);
when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
{
order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
release (journalist);
}
}
break;
}
while (vapourware)
{
introduction_date++; /* Delay */
if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
break;
say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
}
release(beta_version)
while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
{
bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
introduce(more_memory_requirements);
if (customers_report_installation_problems)
{
say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
{
ignore(customer);
order(Bills_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this
bastard");
}
}
if ( Bills_bank_account>skyhigh && marriage>two_years )
{
divorce(woman_that_was_beatifull_when_I_married_her);
wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks);
marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
devirginize(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
if (boobies_start_to_hang)
dump(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
}
if (there_is_another_company)
{
steal(their_ideas);
accuse(company, stealing_our_ideas);
hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
buy_out(other_company);
}
}
/* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
us */
order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
buy(nice_little_island);
hire(harem);
laugh_at(everyone,
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
}


void bugfix(void)
{
charge (a_lot_of_money)
if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
if (still_complaints)
{
ignore(customer);
register(customer, big_Bill_book);
/* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
}
}

[branko47]

Žene in matematika

[.]

Brisana vsebina odstranjenega uporabnika.

[Slowfly]

Prenizko ceno si postavil, pa te nihče ne jemlje resno.
Mogoče ga bo pa Štern kupil?

[Roadracer]

No mogoče pa boš kaj zaslužil Mare

[VolkD]

Hmm.. zanimiva računica...:
2 mio državljanov -> 1 mio volilcev -> 05. mio takih, ki bodo volili -> 251 k za zmago.

Torej 250 k * 50€ -> približno 1.3 mio € je vredna ta čast.

[.]

Brisana vsebina odstranjenega uporabnika.